Dancing Woes

Last weekend, I was home, (yeah, like most of the weekends). My cousin called me up- in an all happy-party-weekend mood. She threw the unwanted question- "What plans for the weekend, dude?"

And before I could think- I excitedly quipped- "I will watch Nach Baliye and Jhalak Dikhla Ja today." She hung up on me the next moment and I realised I seriously needed some life.

Seriously yaar, this has been happening over a period of time- when the world is out to party on the weekend, I behave like a kaddu or a tamatar and vegetate away to glory at my home. I so feel like a stick in the mud watching the world go by. (And you thought RJs had the most exciting lives, eh?)

Anyway so there I was, in my glorious couch potato avtaar, glued to television, watching the two dance shows. It's pretty funny that things that interested me at some recent point of life hardly impress me these days. These two shows being no exception!! (The hysterical age-phobic Lokesh in me screams- AM I AGEING that I have become so critical?)


My first bone.
Anchors and Script Writers.

"Apne husn ka jalwa aur nach ki thirkan pesh karne aa rahi hai agli jodi..." BURP!!
"Hosh uda De apke baar baar- jodi number chaar" FART!!
"Ada hai nirali, mizaz hai dil-phek- jodi number ek" PUKE!

Gaush I might just throw up with such winsome original rhymes!
I mean who on Earth ever speaks like this these days? We have been hammering the importance of realistic cinema, real people and all that jazz, and here we are in a
REAL-ity show with such killer lines!

And can someone please kill the teleprompter? Every time the anchor’s eyes dance from right to left, struggling to read from the teleprompter, there seems to be a slight squint in his/her eyes and I wonder- “What’s wrong dude?”

The worst example of the same is Tina of Nach Baliye fame. She goes-
“Aur apni favourite. (Pause) Jodi ko jitane ke liye. (Longer Pause) Message kariye. (Pause in which you can easily catch your zzzzz.). Is she related to Mr. Atal Bihari Vajypayee by any chance?



My Second Bone.
The participants.

They come. They perform. And they cry. Even before the judges speak a word, the participants are ready with a string of explanations- toe fracture, lack of time, busy schedules and sundry. And if nothing works, the salty Niagra falls does the trick!!

In fact this gives me a little insight into the human psyche. Aint we all are so defensive in our nature right from the begining? Homework nahi kiya- ghar mein shadi thi, office late pahuche- traffic jam tha, kaam nahi hua- team members inefficient hain. Why can't we just calmly listen to criticism and own up to our mistakes?

My third Bone.
SMS.

Agar aap chahte hai apni favourite jodi ke liye vote karna toh SMS kijiye- blah blah MTNL lines wale blah blah, Reliance wale ...blah blah...Airtel Wale...blah blah...
Boy!! Some bombardment of an information man! And how can they ever expect us to spend our hard earned bucks on these celebrities? I mean they hog all the limelight, they walk away with a whopping of lakh rupees of prize money, they get to drive the jazziest car on display and here we are struggling to make our ends meet!
Grrr....PHEW!

(Waise steaming a little secret here- I did SMS once for Shweta Salve when she was competing with Mona Singh in Jhalak Dikhla Ja. And she lost the show after that! :) So there!)

Well after such a nasty post on these shows, I am kind of regretting!
I mean I will be watching the same shows again the next weekend to fill the long lonely hours of my life! SIGH!!

The little devil in me once again mocks at me- "You little loser"
Gawd this little devil can sometimes be a real pain in...(you know where, right?!)