(I)(M)portant

Okay in the title of this post I was trying to write " I am important" in a creative sort of way but now when I read it, it sounds like something else only, if you know what I mean. (Okay now your eyes move to the title...read it? Smiled? Now read on!)

This had been riding on my mind for a very long time and I thought I would better get this outta my system- you know, this intriguing phenomenon of "self importance". Not sounding too judgemental about the whole issue, I wouldn't categorise it as good or bad coz, if on one hand, I find this "I-am-important" thingy to be really juvenile and strange, on the other hand, strangely enough, I kind of aspire to be in the same bracket of people, (well sometimes at least).

When I look around me, I find so many people with such mammoth egos. They walk with a sense of pride, look at me as if I was the most trivial thing to happen to this planet and speak to me as if doing me a favour. It's almost like a cartoon film; Tom walking in full inflated glory, takes giant-thunderous steps, finds little Jerry on its way, scoops Jerry in its gigantic palm and smashes it out of the window.

I am so itched to name so many people right now, in my office, my friends, my family. But my big mouth always lands me in trouble so I better club them all in safe types.

1. I-am-a-dude. The whole facade of I-am-a-dude is actually quite a facade. They speak in pseudo deep baritone voice, mostly with a twang in their accent and are practically deaf to whatever you have to say. It's really funny. You say something. They behave as if they didn't hear. Two moments later they say exactly the same thing and give their shark smile, all smug, revelling in some stupid vain glory. And you are like- "WOW! how original dude".

They also crack some stupid jokes and laugh out loudest and pulls a long face if you try your hand at humour.

2. Screamers. This type is always screaming. I guess they were born screaming, instead of crying.The psyche is that people would take me more seriously if I screamed the loudest (yeah only if frequency was directly propotinal to respect). I remember one of my ex-bosses. Every time I craned my head to see if my devil of a boss was away, I always found this water-melon of a face, full red with rage shouting into the phone. The funny bit was that I couldn't hear anything through his glass cabin so all I saw were stretched muscles wildly mating with frowns on his face and his mouth going yak-yak-yak, like a mime-comedy show.

3. Don't-mess-with-me-types. It's a cross between Abhishek Bachchan's looks, Amitabh's walk, Ajay Devgan's intensity and Himesh Reshamiya's frown. Ah! Quite a breed! They walk like a storm, gaze set at the horizon. (I so wanna throw a banana peel in their way.) If you come in their way, you might be just crushed. So watch out! Nobody exists for them. They don't talk to any small fry and for them everyone around is a small fry, which means they prefer to keep mum most of the times. If you muster up all your courage and dare strike a conversation with them, the only reply you get is a "Umm.." or a deep disgusted sigh that subtly says- "you little nonentity, back you off".

There are so many other types too, like look-at-my-brands types, I-am-so-fair-charitable-generous kinds and many others. And suddenly I can see so many names flashing in my mind who are shining examples of all these types but diplomacy is such an under-rated virtue for me. So there!

And no matter you are a cog in the wheel or a top-notch boss, the "self-importance" bug thrives practically everywhere.

Funnily this post has made me think about humilty big time. Will discuss that in my next post. (Ooo...that sounds like a teaser!) Till then me, myself and I (winks) take your leave.