he looked like an angel when he took bath early in the morning, his wet hair neatly combed in dev anand's style, his cheeks shinning all pink in the morning sun that seived through the window. i think i even saw a halo behind his angealic face. he sat cross-legged and mom served him hot aaloo ka parathas. he had a very dude- like walk, just like shashi kapoor of yesteryears...although he looked like raj kapoor. he had a killer dressing sense, though i didn't like the way he tied his pants a little too high on the waist (there speaks the low-waist jeans generation!!) he had a dream too- he wanted to wear a white full suit on bhai's wedding, a dream that never came true...with a thousand dreams that died a tragic death...he didn't drive a fancy car, didn't vacation on a hill station with his family, didn't play squash in the morning, didn't splurge at all, didn't sport a gold bracelet like his peers, didn't even use a mobile phone, never took a flight to any indigenous or foregin destination...the only flight he took was heavenwards!
it's been almost a decade that i said papa...! i miss him!
9 comments:
You make me cry, that was a soul stirring article. Lokesh! I know how much you struggled.
The post evokes a lump in the throat, and can I tell you what helps me get past these exact same thoughts swimming in our heads, we the fatherless kids? Things are far better and much more meaningful up above. If I didnt think it, I'd choke.
Hey ,
i grew up without saying Mom cos i had a father who pretty much meant the world to me so i didnt miss a mother.Its been 7 yrs since i said Dad or popsy as i used to call him and i tell you i still cry every night for him ..i miss him too ...
Iknow how it feels buddy
clara
SUSHMA-
PHEW! Yeah and u did stick by me during those turbulent times...:)
Rhicha-
I hope so buddy! but the fact that I would never be able to see him ever breaks my heart! I miss touching him, his protective fair hands, his tight assuring hug...his presence...and I feel so bad that he couldn't see his kids blossom...miss him!
Clara-
:( that's even more painful man. Atleast I have my mom, my greatest support in life...I would go mad without her..!
True,very True...he is an angel...
Clean shaved (shaving every day), unlike both of us,as we do it once a week!!
True! he had few ambitions/wish list,as I won't call them dreams....he got his dreams fulfilled before he changes his residence...he saw his daughter well settled...his elder son with a job...and his younger son doing good...in whatever little he was doing at that time...
he was at peace......praying to his God...lying peacefully in ICU in his last days.....and then he left this materialistic world.
He is still with us, but he stays somewhere far....He is ALIVE for me...We talk on regular basis...and I do meet him in my dreams too Often! I love you Dad and I know, you are there with me always!
True,very True...he is an angel...
Clean shaved (shaving every day), unlike both of us,as we do it once a week!!
True! he had few ambitions/wish list,as I won't call them dreams....he got his dreams fulfilled before he changes his residence...he saw his daughter well settled...his elder son with a job...and his younger son doing good...in whatever little he was doing at that time...
he was at peace......praying to his God...lying peacefully in ICU in his last days.....and then he left this materialistic world.
He is still with us, but he stays somewhere far....He is ALIVE for me...We talk on regular basis...and I do meet him in my dreams too Often! I love you Dad and I know, you are there with me always!
sanjay- BHAI
I know the hurt is so much the same...but the perception is so much different. For me Papa is the most wonderful memory of my life. Alas! unlike you he doesn't talk to me. :( He was always closer to you, maybe that's why! But I do meet him in my dreams. Last week I showed him his new house and he was thrilled to pieces. I so wanted to hold his hand and just hold on to him and cry a zillion tears...and within a split second it all vanished!
Also he was at peace in his last few days! But I wanted him to get introduced to all the happiness in the world- materialistic or spiritual or whichever! So many new gadgets introduced after he left, wish he could use them, so many movies released after him, wish he could see them, so many new places popped up on the face of our city, wish he could visit them with us in our new car ...or maybe a metro ride on the weekend...i want my father, my tangible father...whose big hands can hold my little ones...whose bosom still invites me to hide into...whose mere presence assures me- no hurry beta...all will be fine..GOD IS SO CRUEL MAN!
wont say nethin...
but.. would surely say...
u made me cry...!!!
Don't know what to say! :( but I ll say this..he's celebrating you on the other side!
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