Gym Smokers

This one can be a dummy guide to all the people with a huge waistline; who have been promising themselves that next will be the month to hit the gym. Wonder how one can avoid exercising especially when your exterior challenges the fact that monkeys have been our ancestors.
Gym is a small world where you have all kind of items dropping in and I call them different kind of Gym Smokers each belonging to a specific category.

The Gluttonous Lion
He is huge, with breasts putting Pamela Anderson’s to shame. He has a huge appetite both for food and weights.
He loads the heaviest dumbbells in the bar, sees around proudly, making sure he catches everyone’s (read every girl’s) attention. If he fails, then wait and watch. He roars like a true Lion at every repetition and by the time it is the tenth one, everything brittle around is cracked, the earth shaken and every eye gawks at him.

All fart no shit
He comes all branded from tip to toe. A Fila cap, a Nike tee, Puma lowers and a pair of Reebok sneakers. Not to forget the accessories- an Adidas bottle and Lotto head and wrist bands. He walks either like Salmaan or Saif dropping his shoulders up and down, in perfect rhythm with every step. He can also be called the Gluttonous Lion wannabe. He too loads the heaviest weight in the bar. He holds the bar, brings all his focus, grits his teeth, tenses his brows, draws the last ounce of strength gushing from every organ of his body and ends up inching the bar for a split of a second. He feels a vain sense of achievement. He does it everyday unaware of the chuckles, he evokes all around. Don’t blame him. Blame the extra mass he is blessed with and he just wants to throw around some weight. Pun intended!

Gym Virgins
He is new to the world; few days or maybe a week old. He looks around naively and continues to wow at practically everyone and everything around. He dreads even the slightest weight. His hands shake terribly during a work out. He is everyone’s pushover. He will very humbly give you way if you both happen to be on the same machine. He trusts everyone and sundry. You ask him to lift weight with his legs to puff his biceps and he would actually buy that.

The Obnoxious Roadside Romeo
Comes for the babes in and around the gym. Flexes his muscles against his skintight tee, ogles at all the babes, hawk eyed, and passes a few lewd comments. He is entertained, as he knows the gym instructor’s deep dark secrets.

The Morose Member
Sluggish, sagging shoulders and is always complaining about this perennial pain either in the back or neck or some part of the body. He has some genius reasons to avoid his exercise
- It’s too crowded today…
- I have an appointment…
- I didn’t have a proper meal today…
- I don’t know but there is a slight pain in my upper back and so and so forth.
He crawls in and shoots out of the gym. He is constantly looking at the clock.

Paisa Wasool Kinds
He has a different interpretation to the saying- all good things come in small packages. Perhaps that’s the reason he originally thought the gym would cost less than half of what it actually does. And now for the money he shells out on the gym, he is compelled to think that gymming is really not a very good thing!
Works out rigorously for every part- chest, shoulders, legs, arms, back, head, fingers, hair, nails and that too every freaky day. Wants to make every dime he spends worth it. Has been known to even carry home, dumbbells, CDs and even water bottles.

So which category do you think you fit into?